Italian Ettiquette

Brian and I have been to Italy twice before, once in 1994 and the other time in 2000.  We learned then and still know some of the more well-known etiquette.  If you want to fit in at least the slightest bit, don't dress in jeans and sneakers; you won't be allowed in to most churches with bare knees or bare shoulders, no matter how stylishly you are dressed; lunch and dinner times are later than in the U.S. and Italian men loudly display their appreciation for the female form.  Then, there were things that we learned while we were there, like in a shop, you greet the shopkeeper as you arrive (buona sera or buon giorno), not waiting until the cash register AND, the revolving doors of banks only have room for ONE person at a time!

But, since we are going to be in Italy for almost 2 months, I wanted to look into other matters of manners.  How can we be respectful of the culture and perhaps a few snickers from locals...

Dining

• Italians hold their silverware "continental style" with the knife in the right hand and fork in the left.  You do not need to switch hands or set your knife down in between each cut.
• Lunch and dinner are long drawn out affairs.  You will not be hustled out
• No one will usually bring you the check until you ask for it - don't wave or call for your check, but wait to be able to make eye contact with your waiter
• Don't put your hands in your lap when not eating, but instead rest them on the table (forearms, not elbows)
• If there is not a designated bread plate, you may place your bread on the tablecloth next to your dinner plate.

As a guest at someone's home

• Flowers are not as common as hostess gifts.  A gift of a nice wine or chocolate will be appreciated and fussed over a bit, not put in the corner
• Don't sit until invited to do so
• Take small portions and ask for more later - this shows appreciation of the food
• Wine may continue to be topped-off throughout a meal.  When you are done, just leave it full.

General

• Good discussion topics: good, wine, soccer music, philosophy and current events
• Bad discussion topics: private family matters income, stereotypes, WWII, Vatican politics, mafia and "What do you do?"
• Italian don't form lines well.  Don't be offended if someone "cuts" in the line you perceive and don't wait for someone to tell you it's your turn.
• If paying by cash at a store, the clerk may expect you to put the coin portion of your payment into a small dish on the counter.  He or she will, likewise, place your change in it.
• It is easy to make friends with locals by complimenting their town.  Most Italians are very proud of their region.

Some of it is pretty common sense.  I look forward to practicing my new manners!

Next post is going to be about idioms and expressions...